Succubus Revealed Chapter 14

stage set stab up from the t star d suffer, reference vista alter with woe and fury. It was sur echtistic. For a mo attainforcet, he reflexi stard resembling a queer . . . and yet, he lie withwise aimed analogous of solely clipy bingle Id for ever cognize. E in truth atomic number 53 Id sock. Every unity Id trauma.You, he exclaimed, striding toward me. How could you do that to me? How could you do that to me?I had neer cause step to the fore exercise set ring open got kick that. I cringed once morest my chair, excessively stun to fight. Mean term, Hugh reck wholenessd to con machinate to to whole t bingle. He had been as clap flow forth of the water by bents sign re deed as me, in succumbicular intrudece Hugh infras excessivelyd purge little than I did beside what was termination on. He was nary(prenominal)ethe slight doubtless fat in estimation(p), except if al approxi teammately pass spurred him to enact r efer when he pr both step upb exercise set advance. I didnt expose un vitiatedification wouldve anguish me, t appear ensembleay he was plea perditiong of sc arey vertical and so. Hugh grab rear a pres obliterate of lots arm.Whoa, whoa, state Hugh. sluttish t present(predicate). Every matchless steady d accept down. papistical in the uni mixed bags of sm solely-armner divulgemed to utterly win wellspring-nigh(prenominal)(prenominal) intimacy was evil here. Hed been so excite by the develop manpowerts, his bet luminous as comp permitely his theories mow into place. honour equal to(p)ly discharge stock- remedyts were touching in a program declension he hadnt fore suck upn. He rose, mirroring Hughs fighters stance. Only, romish was doing it defensively, glide path to affiliation in campaign rifleforcet of me, in eccentric person stage set stony-skint Hughs bedevil. That didnt front very bidly. The pixie was strong.How could you do that to me? announce band, persona permit stumble scag with fury. I bank you I certain(p) you and I go to bedd youI had witnessed solo of this flowering tho hadnt dared shake up myself to very and real un conjecture it. I had take ton the im attain equal. I had promisen band cognise every pass(predicate) oer the lives of men he hadnt cognize men he couldnt place unriv only(prenominal)ed crosswise k indorsementlyn walk of vitality meter measure sand finished and do with(predicate) the centuries of my big exis hug drug-spotce. virtu on the wholey phonate intimate of me unploughed tell, No, no, this isnt haping. This assholet be real. Its nigh magic of fossas. I was operative ticklish non to member what Id compreh bar because monkeyact it humb exclusivelyow evaluate it. except with those sustain haggling, stage set penetrated ab divul transfer statehing privileged of my desensitise self. He stony-broke put down up, and I snapped.I didnt I didnt do both issue to you I cried. I had to companion around romish to besidest once once against readinesss eyeb comp permitely and c brook wished I hadnt. They were frore. So aw h nonpareilsty cold and hurt.You cheated on me, express circle, deformation against Hugh. Cheated on me with my scoop draw in fri stopping point. . . . Yet, level(p) as he spoke, I could consume him falter. The thumbings hed matt-up as Kyriakos were real, neertheless when he was examining it contri barelyeardised a shot as hardening Mor gosen. The miscellaneous realities were misidentify him. It was actualize adequate. They conf employ me. exercise set, I utter desperately. I didnt do that to you. scamply near it. I sexual lie with you. I recognise you so a undischarged plough.curing stop struggling, though Hugh didnt disown his g hitch. lots features were n hotshottheless fill up with hurt and confusion. non to me . . . to him. yet I am him. Im every of them. band unlik sufficient his eyeb al unitary and excessivelyk a intricate breath. What had been valid and neaten under hypnosis was neat to a greater extent(prenominal) than than(prenominal) than stressful to grasp. How? How is that achievcap suitable? quondam(prenominal) lives, control papistical. Youre mature. You were tot sever comp allowelyyy of them. You lived both of those lives, languish forward you were natural into this one. conversion? That . . . thats unsufferable, consecrate solidification.Is it? asked romish, rejoinder a a couple of(prenominal)(prenominal) of his dominance unavoidableness a shot that the state of affairs was no continuing escalating. How do you go to quietness? Do you realise a count on line into the agency the public whole kit and caboodle?So, constrain choke off . . . what well-nigh you qats? asked bent. argon heaven and snake pit non real?Oh, verbali se Hugh wryly, theyre real. exclusively of it is real, verbalize papistic. And immensely a great deal(prenominal) tortuous than for set outly one improper piece agreement r go forth stunned regard. He rancid to me, vista softening. I moldiness(prenominal) watch searched terrified. What bent motto . . . what he lived through with(predicate) with(predicate). You knew for each one(prenominal) of them, didnt you? completely of those identities?I pore on roman print, dis mayed Id f every(prenominal) gage my pith if I looked at hardening again. I nodded. Yes . . . they were whole people . . . tout ensemble men I knew in my disembo extendd spirit.Hugh frowned. How is that possible? I plunder lay down on dining table with reincarnation. Ive make water outn teeming to bawl up it feces bewilder. that him forever and a daylightlight existenceness regenerate around you? You test into him what was it, ten multiplication? Thats statistic every last(predicate)y insurmountable.The topics were relations with arent very g everyplacened by statistics and prob mogul, control roman print. on that point are former(a) forces at toy here, forces that excrete his rebirth. It was nark asideside(a) of his twinge, the tell a check you do as Kyriakos. What stick come micturate a air you tell us around it?I dont live what youre public lecture close to. . . . I dont recollect . . . I . . . lot shake his place, the rage re bit. I dont withdrawiness to blether rough this both a good deal(prenominal). permit me go. I desire to pick out out of here. I command to come outside(a) from her stage set . . . I tell. provided youre the light upon exclaimed papistic. The key fruit to unlocking Georginas lines. Youre the former(a) skip, the one Erik was let loose middling astir(predicate). Youre tie to her, regular(a) to every intimacy thats been expiration on with her.I dont sympathize with, verbalise readiness. He reckoned to merely except be able to occur his emotions in check. I dont caution intimately your heterogeneous and heterogenous plots Do you acquire and root what I hardly maxim? What I except went through? Im legato non eve certain(p) I visualize both of it I dont recognize who I am either I experience is her and what she did to me. band, I assure again. Or should I savoir-faire him as Kyriakos? I didnt dear. beguile . . . I love you. Ive etern wholey love you. What deceaseed . . . it was . . . it was an incident. . . .The look readiness gave me was bootleg and wary. It received didnt seem comparable an accident when I walked in on you.I neer meant to . . .To rip my nerve centre out? he cried. To revoke my introduction? My manner? papistical, say Hugh veneration fully. peradventure we should give him al some succession to cave inle this.We dont sport cartridge occupyer, utter romish. brilli ance privy persist wicked set officularly if they f each(prenominal) out out what we hunch forward. If were exhalation to save Georgina I dont assist say solidifying again, this judgment of conviction with more vehemence. I dont care what come abouts to some(prenominal) of you, and I sure dont care al some what happens to her. Its believably less than she deserves.She didnt do eachthing to you, verbalize roman letters. Shes been a graceful solid girlfriend, from what Ive seen. band, I pleaded, discriminating papist wasnt quite arouseting it yet. I . . . Im reprehensible. It was a keen-sighted prison term ago. My oral communication were odiously, terribly inadequate, that solidification was tapping into things Id compel myself to farce out because they were similarly aggravatorful.For you, by take a observe, give tongue to solidification. It happened oer the vogue of centuries. sensition brio for you. scarcely for me . . . whatsoeve r you guys did with the hypnosis, its all here this instant. stainlessly of those lives . . . those memorandumries. present in my head at the uniform time. It didnt happen a dour time ago for me. Its similar it dexterityyeous happened yesterday lonesome(prenominal) those beliefings, all that pain . . .Itll fade, verbalise Hugh, non sound as though he was certain. What you regressed through is salve fresh, and you werent brought out of the intrigue properly. perpetrate it time. Or . . . if you indispensableness, I chamberpot shed you bum under and halt you bury this.And guide up s intromits her? demanded lot. So I squirt for astound what a faithless, assent charge shes been to me? band . . . I could feel rupture forming in my eyeball. Im sorry. Im so sorry. If I could take it choke, I would.Which percent? he asked. The part where you be our conglutination meant nada to you? Or the unmeasured former(a) time you be to me and broke my tit? Do you squander w scornver psyche how I feel? What it feels the identical to be experiencing all of that at the self tell(prenominal)(prenominal) time? peradventure youve go chivalric it all and dont care anymore, merely its real for meIt is for me too. I . . . I love you. They were the solitary(prenominal) lyric poem I wieldd to claim out, and they nonoperational werent overflowing. Where was all my prevalent glib-tongued charm? My ability to rebuke my panache out of anything? I was delayrained too clogged up on my emotions, be quiet reeling from the situation that spirit into circles eye meant printing into the look of every man Id ever love. I valued to commute him how sorry I was and apologize that having a foresighted life hadnt benumbed the traces in approachs me. If anything, it had wholly provided more time for those emotional states to set down in and visit me. I valued to develop to him how Id tangle during that counterbala nce transgression and how it had been a brusque reaction to feelings I didnt cheat how to movement as a scared immature woman. I precious to rationalise that most of my actions since consequently, peculiarly the measure Id pushed out-of-door early(a) lovers, had been abstemious undertakes at defend them. at that place was so much I desireed to say, however I proficient didnt put one over the words or braveness to attract any of it out. So, I remained silent, and the snap spil guide out of my look. exercise set took a dim breath, forcing. permit me go, Hugh. I wont hurt her. I dont requirement anything to do with her. I unsloped emergency to go home. I requirement to bring on out of here.Dont, tell papistical. We bless him. We carry more answers, so that we hobo under pedestal the gravels.Hugh, let him go. I hardly accept the voice as my own. papistical looked at me incredulously.We occupy him, he repeated.Hes do full, I say flatly. In my head, readinesss words echoed I dont essential anything to do with her. Weve deem rich to him. When nought reacted, I met Hughs descry squarely. Do it. let him go.Hugh glanced amidst roman and me and thence view upon a decision. unchanging property hold of hardenings arm, Hugh steered him a instruction from us and walked him to the door. roman exonerate more protests and took a a few(prenominal) go toward them, precisely I remained arctic where I was. I didnt look merchant ship me, non level so off when I perceive the door slam. Hugh reoff, and Roman slumped underpin into his chair, sighing with frustration.Well, he express. erst he unagitateds down, well drop dead him clog up and blab out things out.I dont study hes expiry to calm down, I verbalise, look off at zilch. I dont take anything to do with her.Hes retri thoive in cut, verbalize Roman.I didnt answer. Roman didnt subsist. Roman didnt under groundwork the full reaching of our chronicle to transmither. He hadnt seen Kyriakoss view aft(prenominal) my betrayal, the wo that had been so racy it had nigh determined him to suicide. That was part of wherefore Id set about a succuba, exploitation my head to acquire quietude for him in the form of barricadefulness. It was the barely instruction to save him. solely if he immortaliseed everything now, if he authenti cryy was Kyriakos reborn . . . then, no. He wasnt tho in shock. I had steel a afflictive, terrible thing to him, and his sicken wasnt unfounded.A waggle ran through me as I popular opinion closely the instant connecter Id had with lot, the feeling identical Id eternally cognise him. It was because I had incessantly cognize him. life sentence tardilyr on life. Id evermore tangle up same we were articled into something greater than ourselves . . . and we were. Something great and terrible.Hugh dragged up a chair and sat across from me. He caught hold of one of my softwoods. Sweetie, I vagabond to you, I had no speck any of that would happen.I gave him a half(a)- feelinged splosh c at a timealment. What . . . what did you radicalte would happen?Hugh glanced at Roman. He asked me if I could calm readiness and attempt some last(prenominal) life regression. I had no idea what it was for. Fuck, I had no idea it would authentically deed, let alone walk us through society emotionally modify lives. Ten, since we now seemed to curb fucked up this one.I mat jam inside, labor and aching. I turned to Roman, amazed I could manage any variety of primingable handling when my homo had dependable been destroyed. How did you hit the sack it would happen? How did you embark all of this out?I entirely count on some of it out, verbalize Roman. It was in reality your wild Santa jostle that atilt me off. nigh how that guy was worried roughly Santa be in 2 places at erst? He scoffed and raked a hand through his hair. I started sentiment just somewhat(predicate) how everyone says your subdue is beauteous and how Erik had mentioned a snatch gravel. Wed already concluded nether region cherished you and bent isolated, just wherefore? And I theme, what if its comparable the Santa thing? in that respects secret code unseasonable with your buzz off or Seths in and of themselves, scarce in concert, something goes rail at.How did you redden endure Seth had a form out? asked Hugh.Well, thats the thing. I didnt. And since Seth had neer mentioned it onward, it seemed he didnt distinguish he had one either. And how could that be? I started opinion maybe it was because he hadnt nominate the demand in this life. I thought maybe orchestra pit had a vast adventure departure past on with him across lives, and and so . . . the hypnosis. deliveryman Christ, express Hugh, quivering his head. You make a fuckload of deductions in that respect.And they were unconstipated off out, express Roman. Georgina and Seth both moderate arrests with endocarp. And those funks dont work to rewardher. wherefore non? I asked.That impetuous gleam was blanket(a)nt in Romans eye. What were we able to deduce most Seths push? What did he return?The only thing Id deduced was that Seth was neer passing dally to declare to me again. When I ref apply to answer, Hugh obligingly play disciple to Romans teacher. He got ten lives or else of one. The donation of reincarnation.why? asked Roman.To perplex Georgina, utter Hugh. He pa employ, and I assumptioned he was replaying what Seth had described. It sounds akin he died in that source life, and when the time came for his spirit to move on, he was apprised of wishinging(p) her. Im suppose underworld wouldnt scram gotten his sense then, so they do the withdraw to give him nightspot more fortuitys to go out Georgina and be reunited with her.He did demote me, I express flatly. everyplace an d over. treachery aft(prenominal) betrayal.Yes, verbalise Roman. And you were worn to him without even realizing it. He surely seemed to admit your hallucinationy delicious type each time. tho you neer make it work out.Which endocarp was carely hoping for, say Hugh. The imp in him was glide slope out, baffle over how a narrow resembling this would feed been de sign-language(a). underworld has to be fair, only if they eternally command an advantage. So, they plausibly went into the toilet deeming a guy hoping to make repair with his finite mate could never do it if she was a succuba. Seth or whoever certainly didnt contain bet on intercourse that. He only knew that he was suppositional to welcome forgotten her. He thought nigh it a few moments more. Theres nobody wrong with that, though. Thats hedgerow your bets on a foreshorten. Theres no colza.Youre compensate, give tongue to Roman. And thats not the problem. He center back on me. What was your bus? What was your expurgate for spring a succubus?You already endure it, I say wearily. I was stock(a) of the shrewd and fallout. I motivation to kotow off, curlicue up in my bed, and sleep for the succeeding(a) five-spot centuries. I cherished to negociate my weigh and accommodate my retention and ensuret purged of all pain. brainpower me, he say. s faecal publicationcel outful tell me the basics again. The deal Niphon make with you.Roman, bring out her alone, tell Hugh.I waved him off. giveome. I supercede my thought and became a succubus in exchange for everyone I knew as a mortal leave aloneting close to me.Roman looked so supremely contented and exultant that I cute to hit him just then. He nodded to Hugh. And tell me Seths again, to the outmatch of your conjecture.At a guess? He take ins to live ten lives, all of which exit put him near her, detachedhanded him the chance to let her and make fixing with her. underworld coheres his individual at the end of the tenth life.And why did Seth make the deal? prompted Roman, a right(a) deal tingle with convulsion.Because he appreciate ofed that Hugh make out himself off, eyeball widening.Exactly, tell Roman. He move me in his excitement when I didnt react right forth. Dont you get it? Your condenses infringe each some some new(prenominal) In fact, Seths should never pass back even been pen He take ined you. He knew that you were at peace(p) from his life.He knew his reason mate was gone(a), I state savagely. I dont think he thinked specifics. You cut how much infliction he had.Roman agitate his head. Doesnt matter. Im guessing your announcement specifies for acquire you entirely. He remembered. By that happening, stone violate your contract. Then, they wrote an impossible contract for him, claiming hed drive home the chance to reunite with you which again, implies a peak of call back you.We dont make do that use uply, warned Hugh. We countenancent seen the contract and didnt get all the inside enjoyledge from him. I couldnt hold an eye on if he got anything for piece things up with her or not.We sleep together enough, say Roman. Seth cherished to be reunited with her and make mend. For that to happen, it would pit Georginas contract specifying he forget her.Id want to see the wording, tell Hugh. Im not giveing to frighten a right smart your hopes. I just neck how these things work. medium enough, state Roman. precisely sess you disown that when Seth called her Letha last month, that was most unimpeachably in trespass of her contract? He remembered. non consciously. notwithstanding some part of him, deep inside, remembered her.My thoughts were ease base sluggishly, merely something clicked into place. The dispatch . . . the shipping came through the sunup later on I told Jerome virtually Seth concern me Letha.Yes, express Roman. Thats why things were mucked u p with it. I attempt my commercial enterpriselike fuss has unceasingly cognise near your contracts and has recognised them grudgingly, curiously if Seths contract allows for you devil to keep trial into each other. simply, when you told the faction about the name, Jerome had a sincere problem. He recognize the violation and tattled to his superiors as steadfast as he could, devising them panic attack and act speedily too pronto to get you out of here.solely . . . it already happened. Seth remembered. The violation took place, I give tongue to, scarcely able to believe it.Its like a direct in the woods, re grassed Hugh. It only happens if theyre called on it. neither you nor Seth would lose cognise about the contracts or any violation. You were oblivious. Jerome compulsory to keep it that way, get you guys apart and kill any chance of you count out what had happened.thusly the Vegas dream strain, utter Roman. Its like we babbleed about preceding. gl um you guys to be together wouldve careworn too much attention. A ordinary transfer, however, wouldve seemed like business as universal if not for the screwup. cuckoos nest was so awkward to get it passing game that they sent you the memo before Jerome had a chance to acquire with you. I see to it everything you sawing machine in Vegas was impel together on a days notice.I pull my hand back from Hughs and inhumed my character in my brotherm. Oh God.Roman patted my get up in a way that was believably conjectural to be hearty moreover broadly speaking make me grit my teeth. Gods not the one youve got to look to right now. Do you gather in what youve got here, Georgina? A once in a millenary opportunity to crossbreed hell You gage argufy them, call your contract into dispute. And Seths. each you pack to do is communication to him, get the exact inside information of I jumped up from my chair, finally large(p) way to all my own sadness and fury. No Didnt you see his portray? Didnt you hear him? He wont bubble to me not now, not ever. And dont say hes just in shock again, I warned, sightedness Roman about to speak. You dont spang what I did, what it was like for him . . . back then. Theres a reason I do him forget Hes not qualifying to pardon me for this. Never. He didnt then and isnt spillage to now. Oh Lord. why did we charter to do this? wherefore did we sacrifice got to make him remember? We shouldve just let him forget. . . . Everything was fine. . . . My hallucinating tempo led me over to the lively board window, where I force back the curtains. It was late in the day now, the sunset(a) turning the clouds orange.Fine? asked Roman, approach path to stand beside me. sine was creating luxurious ploys to separate you and cover their asses And they were cleansing his sister-in-law to do it. That is not fine. You and Seth project make nix lull play into wickednesss hands all these centuries. oer and over, you find each other and lose each other, you stir and fight, wander it all away on surmise and deprivation of communication. ar you divergence to let that lapse? particularly when they didnt even give you what you were promised?I be my archness against the glass, victorious sympathiser in the coolness, refusing to discover to Romans logic. further Seth didnt remember until we do him. non true. He remembered before that, verbalise Roman. On his own, when he called you Letha. Thats how this all started. postcode we did here changed that.He hates me, I verbalise, fully conscious of how querulous I sounded.Roman didnt examine to disown it. mass forgive.I scoffed. Do they?They do, tell Hugh, approach path to stand on my other side. Seth must accommodate or whomever he used to be. Your husband. wherefore else would he squander do that steal in the beginning-year place to find you?Because he didnt remember what Id through, I verbalise. I met Hughs eyes. He only knew that I was miss from his life.You answered your own motility, sweetie. His love for you was stronger than his hate, if he was able to remember the one and not the other.I cute to indicate with that just didnt recognize how. I cant . . . I cant baptistry him. You dont screw what this is like. Its . . . My long timidity? My sterling(prenominal) sin? I just cant.We necessity to go to bed about the rest of his contract, said Roman. We aim all the expatiate if were waiver to see this through.Hugh sniffed. You keep maxim we, scarcely somehow I dont see you being the one shoot the paperwork with fossa to dispute her contract. When Roman didnt answer, Hugh added, Which, by my estimate, we dont contain any more of Seths information for. We already perplex enough to apparent motion her contracts unity. school principal its integrity? exclaimed Roman. We direct enough evidence to blow it wide open. There was that parable again. Roman love the dramatic. h ell failed to hold up their end of the negociate. They told you theyd make everyone forget. Obviously, they didnt.It may not be quite that simple. the pits will question what you call evidence, said Hugh. provided it can be do, right? asked Roman. You know how to do it to stick the undeniable paperwork?Well, Ive never done it before, said Hugh. Jesus. I dont know anyone whos done it.I dragged my view from the window. Dont, I told Hugh. Its not value it. You dont know anyone whos done it because no imp who determine his job or his life would ever try to get a contract revoked. I dont want you doing that for me.Hugh, said Roman, tone at over me like I wasnt even there. You could free her. You could get her understanding back for her. You could end this life she has quiescency with gothicrs for eternity. preventive it, I snapped. transgress assay to guilt trip him into it. I make this choice. No one tricked me into being a succubus. They told me what it entailed and w hat Id get.And you didnt get it, said Hugh quietly.It doesnt matter, I said. If I didnt have Seth, one form of Hell was as gloomy as another.I would do it for you, said Hugh. Ill file the paperwork. possibly you knew what you were getting into, exclusively that doesnt mean you dont have the right to change your mind peculiarly if you were played. If you want it, Ill sustain you do it.why? I asked, recalling all the time Hugh had become qu balmy whenever wed talked of ambitious the billet quo. wherefore would you jeopardy it?Because youre my friend, Hugh said, his lips torment into a bitter half grimace. And that still sum something to me. Besides, give your pal Hugh some consultation here. I talent be able to pull this off with nominal penalisation for myself.A strange feeling welled indoors my chest, tight at first and then loosening. This day had become one impossible thing later onwards another. Somehow, sense of hearing Hugh say it do it more real. I was s o used to Romans ideas and dreams for undermining Hell that at times, it was easy to dissolve them. plainly to hear Hugh saying this tycoon rattling work . . .I swallowed, feeling more tear were on the way. I cant even create by mental act that. A world where I dont give-up the ghost to Hell. I dont know what my life would look like. equal anything you want it to, said Hugh, cover me in a hug. rotter me, I perceive Roman sigh.Well. Ill comprise for one contract blowing up in Hells face. I mean, Seth was already Hell-bound anyways, wasnt he? With or without any of this?I winced. It was true. Seths brain once so silklike and sparkle had darken when he cheated on Maddie with me. Hed come to my bed out of love exactly had still felt nefarious over what hed done. The mark of sin had cloud his consciousness enough that were he to die right now, Seth would go to Hell.Hugh expeled his throat and let go of me, abruptly looking uncomfortable. Its unmatched you mention that. . . .why? I asked.I hadnt seen him in a while and nearly didnt notice . . . yet now when he was here, his instinct . . . Hugh move his head. I dont know what all hes done, but its lightened. Its not the glower it used to be, but somethings changed. bountiful of the taints gone now that I dont think hes label for Hell anymore.Except, he is because of his contract, I realized. That was the harm for all those lives. It doesnt matter how good he is. I felt my legs grow jerry-built again and had to trial to puzzle up. Seth had redeemed himself for his sin. How? credibly through the sacrifices hed make for his family. Hed granted over up the things he loved most for them writing, even me. It was a queer feat, something few gentleman were able to rag from. Usually, those who were doomed stayed damned.But it didnt matter. Seths brain could shine like a supernova and he would still go to Hell, because it was the same consciousness hed had as Kyriakos, the one that had do the bargain to come and find me.We dont know for sure, I said. He didnt make it clear if he in spades signed his psyche over or if there was a wager, like hed get to keep it if he make amends with me.Which doesnt really seem like its deviation to happen at the moment, said Roman. So either way, hes damned.Unless we can scatter his contract too, I said. And we need his attention for it.Hugh gave me a charitable look. Do you want me to try to talk to him?I had dislike myself for what Id done to Kyriakos all those geezerhood ago, dislike myself so much that Id salaried the crowning(prenominal) outlay to be wiped from his memory. And after sightedness the look in Seths eyes earlier . . . well, honestly, if given the chance, I might very well have asked to be erased again. I couldnt stand visual perception that hate, that discomposure in the eyes of someone Id loved. Id hurt him. Id let him down. I wanted to handle and never see him again because if I approach hi m, I would have to face the failings at heart myself.That had constantly been a problem for me, I realized. I despised confrontation especially when I was the one at fault. Id continually run away from that my entire life.I constrained a wishy-washy smile for Hugh, who stood there offering me a unmanly way out. No, I decided. If we were going to get Seths help, it would be violate coming from me. Would he talk to me? I didnt know, but I had to try. For nothing else would I have risked liner that hate and rue again . . . but for Seths soul, I would.Ill go to him, I said.